Yes, having my boobs on display on an almost daily basis is making me feel a little like a ‘Fallen Madonna’, my boobies may not be big, but I can claim to have one sore right side boobie, do you think that will count?

I can understand how each woman’s and indeed man’s experience of breast cancer is different, I am one woman having treatment for two breasts, and they are each very different in their reaction to surgery and radiotherapy.

My left breast/underarm area is taking on the role of ‘perfect patient’, healing nicely, hardly noticeable scars, no seroma and, (so far) no issues from Radiotherapy. In fact you would probably not notice that there has been anything amiss to look at it, the only complaint is discomfort in my shoulder when my arm is raised above my head during radiotherapy treatment.

My right breast however, is being ‘difficult patient’ healing nicely but not tidily – strange shaped slightly sunken areola, nipple now lying flat in an upwards direction, oedema, pulling and lumpy bumpiness, underarm three times aspirated, and hard lumpy scar tissue. Even though I have only had four treatments, the radiotherapy seems to be making the fluid filled area from which the lesion was removed on my right side quite hard already, I’m not sure if this is coincidental or a side effect, I will have to ask. And both the breast and the underarm scar are tender, I have to treat the area very gently when applying twice-daily moisturiser (this is to help keep the skin in the best possible condition to cope with the radiotherapy).

Both breasts have sharp stabbing pains periodically, they mostly only last for a short time but if you see me clutching one or both of my breasts, this is the reason. I have stopped taking the Co-Codamol as I found that they were the cause of my disturbed sleep, I am now sleeping much better, and now taking just Ibuprofen as necessary.

Christmas is nearly upon us, Ray and I have written and posted our cards to distant relatives and friends, but we still have the local ones to get done. Yesterday we went and bought a ‘Value’ Christmas Tree from ‘Chesham Christmas Tree Farm’, if you are local and haven’t already got a real tree, pay it a visit, highly recommended! Josh ventured up in to the loft this morning and brought down the decorations. I had a snooze after lunch, and then went off for my radiotherapy session. I asked about the hard lumps in my right breast, Callum, one of today’s radiotherapy team said it was too soon for it to be caused by the treatment. They would not normally expect any reaction to occur before about ten days of treatment, so he would email Dr Makepeace to let him know about it.

I decorated our tree when I got home,

Ray helped by sitting across the room so he could see all of the tree and directing me to which bits needed more baubles, and it looks lovely and festive. I also set up the Nativity in the fireplace, this probably isn’t a very good picture but you get the idea 🙂

I found this meme today, it eloquently expresses my feelings on positivity, and not being able to always maintain it through all of life’s challenges

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