Feeling Low

Monday was a good day, Jenny and Howard from work came to see me, it was lovely to see them and catch up on the latest news from the office. However, it can be laborious trying to explain how a diagnosis of Cancer, its treatment process and Remission are and will affect my life, to those that have no experience or knowledge of it.

Ray and I didn’t go out anywhere, we mostly rested, catching up on some TV and doing a couple of loads of laundry.

Today however had been a different day altogether, Ray has been in so much pain on the back-left side of his head and neck that I decided that we should do something about it. I telephoned the surgery to ask if the doctor could prescribe some pain relief for Ray but this couldn’t be done without an appointment so we went off to see the doctor. After a wait we saw the doctor, another different doctor, so Ray had to explain what has been happening from the beginning and then go through the usual checks which we are learning off by heart. The doctor decided she needed to consult with the hospital before prescribing anything, she asked us to go to the waiting room and she would call us after speaking to the hospital. Two hours after arriving at the surgery the receptionist called Ray over to say that the hospital still hadn’t called back and that we should go home, the doctor would telephone later.

We were just having lunch when the doctor called, she said that Dr Burns wanted to see Ray again and would call to confirm arrangements. Dr Burns secretary called to say Ray should go to the Medical Day Unit Assessment Clinic (MDUAC) for an 11 am appointment. A short while later Dr Burns called to say he now wanted Ray to be at the MDUAC for 9 am to have sedation for another MRI Scan. Hopefully Ray will be able to leave in time for me to head across the county for my first Radiotherapy Treatment later in the afternoon, otherwise I will have to leave him there and send Josh to collect him.

2014-06-06 06.32.53

The afternoon deteriorated from then on, whilst we had been at the doctors, a message had been left giving some upsetting news.

This has almost been the last straw, I felt very close to breaking point, but I just have to keep going, there really is no other option.

Dont be afraid

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2 thoughts on “Feeling Low

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