Wednesday 5^th November.

Nurse Rose was surprised by the amount of fluid under my arm, externally it did not look like there was much so she only got out a small syringe. To start with very little came out, but when the syringe was full and the nurse took the needle out the hole was dripping away quite nicely, so she got another syringe with a bigger needle. This was much more successful, Nurse Rose had to ask Ray to go and get more syringes from her draw as they were filling up. The hospital is all set up for this procedure and has larger syringes so have only needed to use one when they have drained the Seroma for me. The GP practice only have small syringes and I needed six, approximately 20ml of fluid was drawn from the Seroma. The amount of fluid is reducing each time so this is good, maybe this is the last time I will need to have it done.

Whilst Nurse Rose was drawing the fluid, we talked about the operation, and its’ after effects, she gave us some useful information:

As I have had some Lymph Nodes removed, the flow of lymphatic fluid in my arms is reduced and it is advisable to:

Not to have injections in my arms.

Always wear gloves for gardening (increased risk of infection).

Ideally blood pressure should not be taken on my arm, but as there is no practical alternative there is no other option.

Nurse Rose also repeated the advice the Breast Care Nurse had given me, to take things easy, not get carried away on days when I am feeling good as I will suffer for it in the next day and will delay the healing process, not to rush back to work, and when I do return, to start off part time. So that’s me told…. again!

Nurse Rose had been doing Flu Jabs all morning before seeing me, I said to Ray he should book to have his, hearing this, she offered to give him his jab there and then, so he came out with a sore arm too 🙂

Meanwhile, back at home our kitchen was in the process of being stripped out, so as we couldn’t get to our dining room where the contents of our kitchen cupboards are presently residing, we went to a local café for lunch of an all-day breakfast.

Back at home, there was drilling going on, and the electricians had their radio playing, I was feeling tired and as our bedroom is partly over the kitchen, retreated to the relative peace of Megan’s bed for a snooze.

After the workmen had finished for the day, Ray did a clean-up in the bathroom and what’s left of our kitchen. When this was done, Josh cooked dinner for us. Here is Ray cleaning and Shadow looking round wondering what on earth has happened to his kitchen.

There have been lots of fireworks going off for well over a week, and with the work going on in the house, Shadow is very traumatised, and poor dog has been shaking with fright. Shadow is not normally allowed upstairs but he sneaks up when he is frightened. Some thoughtless people set off more fireworks after we had gone to bed, we heard Shadow creeping up the stairs, so we took pity on him, let him in to our room and he spent the night curled up on the floor on Ray’s side of the bed.

Thursday

I have been following a blog written by a younger woman with breast cancer ‘A Little Earthquake’ and one of her posts has really struck a chord with me. In the entry: “I’m okay”, her final paragraph says (Quoted with permission) –

“But if you ask how I am, I’ll smile and tell you I’m good and feeling well and healthy and strong and positive. Because it’s easier for you to hear that than to hear my truth.”

The web address is: http://alittleearthquake.wordpress.com/

I can really relate to this post, I do this all the time.

So today I’m having a ‘good’ day today, yes I really am! But sometimes it is difficult to find the words to describe how I’m feeling even to those closest to me, or if I’m honest, they are the ones least likely to hear my darkest, most fearful, morbid thoughts, the ones that go through my mind when I wake in the night, there are some things which are best kept to myself, and at times it’s all such a challenge.

Reading this back, it sounds really bleak, I don’t intend it to sound this way. If you know me well then you will be familiar with me speaking honestly, well, other than just admitting to giving out a ‘rose tinted’ version of how I’m feeling that is!! I can be blunt to the point of rudeness, I am still learning to curb my sometimes thoughtless comments, it’s a lifelong lesson.

Because I have negative experiences of Cancer, with both my parents and my mother-in-law dying from the disease, I am often not as positive about my diagnosis as I would like to be, but I am trying.

This evening I went for dinner with my friend Jan, she cooked us a lovely stir fry and we had a good chat. Jan asks thought provoking questions, she is very wise, I feel able to tell her things I wouldn’t tell anyone else. Thank you for a lovely evening Jan 🙂

I had my first chat with my support volunteer from the “Someone Like Me” service set up by Breast Cancer Care, it was lovely to talk to someone who has been through the same operation as me and understands how I am feeling.

http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/