Today Ray & I saw my Oncologist – Mr Cannock and Zoe, Breast Care Nurse. He confirmed that I have Bilateral Invasive Ductal Cancer, Grade 1 in my right breast and Grade 2 in my left. I will have Wide Local Incisions to remove the tumours and Sentinel Node Biopsies, the operation should be carried out within the next four weeks. Approximately six weeks post Op I will have Radiotherapy Treatment – 5 days on, 2 days off for 3 1/2 weeks, so just before Christmas then, oh joy!! I’ve already mentioned to my family that I will be delegating responsibility for the Christmas preparations and Christmas meal etc this year, looks like that was a good call!!

I also had my pre-op assessment this morning, had to explain about my blood pressure and pulse rate being naturally low, maybe a low pulse rate is what helps me to keep so calm and composed 🙂

After leaving the hospital we had a walk round High Wycombe, I managed one shop and a stop for lunch and then just wanted to go home to sleep. My head hurts, and my eye is sore (had surgery to insert a scleral buckle for retinal detachment in June 2013).

All this is a little unreal today, I feel detached from my diagnosis, not in denial, more emotionally removed. I guess this is one of the stages to go through, a self protection mechanism maybe? Talking to one of my sisters earlier, explaining what I had been told today became overwhelming, perhaps my brain is a little overloaded right now.

Looking through some inspirational quotes to add to my blog today brought forward a memory of a poster I gave my Dad when he was ill with cancer. The poster showed several seagulls flying effortlessly across the sea above a caption from the ancient Roman poet Virgil: “They can because they think they can”.  My Dad was a silent fighter, I don’t remember hearing him complain about his illness or the pain he was in even though it was clear to us how poorly he was, he was dignified throughout. I’m not sure if I will cope so stoically, watch this space!

Yesterday I came across an inspiring talk on TED – The Best Gift I Ever Survived, by Stacey Kramer, it is about her survival from a brain tumour and offers a positive perspective on having a potentially life threatening illness.

Have a look – it is worth the time:

http://www.ted.com/talks/stacey_kramer_the_best_gift_i_ever_survived?language=en